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Hobbies are nice and all but goddamn.

You know you've been working part-time for too long when you figure out how to write cusswords down the sides of sous vided filets with a creme brulee torch.

What kind of second job should I get, internet? Don't say burning "fuck" into steak. I hear that doesn't pay well.


VNV Nation + SITD live at the Hangar. Flyer under the cut.Collapse )

Feel free to repost that wherever. Proper event post after I get home. In the meantime, why aren't you on Facebook? Seriously.

Dumbass Moments in Ancient History:

So way back in the day when pterodactyls ruled the Earth and Greece was pretty much the most awesome place in the universe this dude Croesus, who was the King of Lydia at the time, got it into his head that he was going to go kick the King of Persia's ass. Why this dude thought he could march all the way over from modern-day Turkey to go beat on Cyrus is pretty much beyond me, but I am from the magical Future where we have things like "common sense" so who knows.

Anyway Croesus sends gold and incense and camels or whatever over to Delphi as a gift to the Oracle who was called Pythia at the time to ask her what the outcome of the battle will be. Pythia gets Apollo up on the phone by huffing cave gas and comes back with the answer: If Lydia attacks Persia, a great empire will be destroyed.

Croesus thinks that's pretty righteous so he send all his dudes over to go attack Persia and they all get perma-banned from life in about five minutes. Croesus' life is spared, but he's reduced to the position of advisor to Cyrus' court, which is pretty much like if we gave Hirohito an entry-level consulting job at Enron as a going away present.

Croesus, no longer the King of jack shit, sends a message back to Pythia demanding to know what the fuck, and Pythia says "I said a great empire would be destroyed, I didn't say which one you dumb faggot. It's called Wikipedia, why don't you look it up next time".

This has been seeming particularly relevant lately.


Someone should invent a cast iron pan that reacts violently to soap, swinging upward into the face of the dumbass who put it in the sink.

glorious nippon

I really need to stop sleeping to Forensic Files marathons. It gives me extremely tedious dreams about doing boring-ass lab work. "Oh yeah I'll just pick through this cup full of dirt with tweezers while I wait six to eight weeks for my test results to come in. I'M SURE GLAD I WENT TO COLLEGE."

Brother Kenya spare a trillion?

Well. He is black. What were you expecting?
This seems like as good a time as any to remind you of nola_snark.

Check this TRON shit out:

New flyer, should anyone want it for anything. Also, it's made of original artwork. Like all our advertisements. So that's always positive.

Sorta space invaders-y. Or maybe like the cover of a cheap sci-fi paperback from the '50s. Either way it's pretty win.Collapse )