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FaceBook repost. How sad is that?


I know what you're thinking. "There goes Lux Saturnine, King-Shit of Failed Relationship Mountain, trying to dole out advice like a retard. She must think I'm an idiot. I bet she thinks my haircut is stupid, too." Well it is. So sit down and read this shit because I am about to totally BLOW YOUR MIND.

You want to make a woman happy? Stop wasting your money on sparkly shit and dumb flowers and appeal to her primal, three-million year old instincts. Show her that you're a good provider. More importantly, show her you're not a pussy. All you have to do is follow my simple two point plan:

1. break shit

2. kill things.

Think about it. Back in cave man days, being able to kill a whole mastodon all by yourself would have been the modern day equivalent of being an extreme BMX biker who owns all the drugs in the world and walks around with a pet pegasus on a leash made of diamonds. It's a scientific fact and you'll be thanking me later when you're dying of vagina overdose because your girlfriend and/or wife has been reassured that you aren't a little bitch.

Break shit. Kill things. Be a man. Let me know how it goes.


( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
Jun. 11th, 2010 04:29 pm (UTC)
A good provider of broken shit?
Jun. 12th, 2010 05:57 am (UTC)
It's better with the pictures...
Jun. 12th, 2010 08:38 pm (UTC)
you're getting repetitive in your old age
Jun. 14th, 2010 06:48 pm (UTC)
appeal to my primal, three-million year old instincts and get fat
Jun. 15th, 2010 06:55 pm (UTC)
I lol'd.
Jun. 16th, 2010 07:23 pm (UTC)
zomg! then add me on facebook! >:0
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )