Christmas decorations for sale next to the Halloween candy? Oh fuck you, Target. It wasn't even Thanksgiving yet you bastards.

What are you getting me for the holidays, LJ?

pic related, it's what we're going to do on our vacation.

Were lives lost? Of course. Were cities razed, flesh burned with poison gas, families slaughtered and children raped? Naturally. But one can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs, burning the crockery, setting the kitchen on fire, firebombing the restaurant and summarily executing the survivors.

For the record, I am extraordinarily happy with my shits and I'm finally starting to feel comfortable in my own skin. I actually have "too skinny pants" now. Pants that I bought when I was too goddamned skinny that I now have to lay down to zipper up. This is awesome and a half.

I feel moar attractive, healthier, and generally badasser than I have in years.

Something about not being fukken miserable all the time. It really makes a difference.

Who knew.

<3 <3 <3

I need an intervention some penis asap.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxnQPlE62fc

From the mind of Eric Wareheim and some other crazy asshole called Major Lazer.

I just watched this and the Icelandic Ultra Blue informercial at the same time. I think I need a beer to wash my brain out.

Gays ought to be able to experience the joys of divorce just like everybody else, and they ought to be heavily armed while doing it.

Nothing to complain about= less internets posts. Sorry guise.

what

in the actual

fuck

ETA: well that didn't last long. if you were too late for the quasi child porn, consider yourself lucky. oh, youtube! you're a real card.

This is the funniest thing I've seen in years. Keep up the good work, guys.

ETA: this shit is too good not to share with my non-local readers. BEHOLD.